I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
