i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
