We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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