Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
