Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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