So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
