Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
