Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
