I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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