she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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