Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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