Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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