It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
