He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
