Nicole vs. Life
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
