I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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