I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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