Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I did not marry a roomba.
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