You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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