to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got inside last night via doggy door
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize