Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
