what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
