she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
