All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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