in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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