my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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