8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
