So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
