and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
