im six kinds of drunk right now
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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