my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
