i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
