You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
