what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your cock deserves a montage
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
