Plan B is the new Plan A
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
