Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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