i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
