Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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