I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
