can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
