Yo dont text me then not text me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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