I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think people are normalizing furries
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize