I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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