I think I died a long time ago.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
