So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
