are you still at the devil's house?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We have so much sex to catch up on
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
