Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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