This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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