I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
