It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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