I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
