I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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