Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
