he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
