3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
