Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
