My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
