evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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